This may seem like a contradiction, but this is one of the noblest bastards we've ever seen.
The Kriegschwart hand-and-a-half sword from Valiant Armoury is a regal example of the popular 'bastard' sword. Hand-forged, hand-tooled, hand-some. It's battle-ready and masterfully tempered and quite possibly the finest bastard sword you will find for under $1,000.
The kriegschwart was designed by Christian Fletcher, maker of $1,500 (and up) swords. The Kriegschwart may not be the same as his higher end swords, but it includes many of the same features and has his personal seal of approval. Not something he'd give without knowing for certain that this was a top-notch weapon.
The Kriegschwart is hand-forged, tempered and battle-ready. It has long, straight guards and a steel disc pommel.
The blade, a type XII, is hand-forged, 1060 high-carbon steel, and it is a thing of beauty. Flawless and crisp. The grip is made from hardwood with a nifty shrunken-leather-over-cords wrap. The entire sword is put together solidly and held in place with a clever sunken bolt system that won't interfere with your maneuvers.
And when you are finished looking at the sword, have a glance at the astoundingly crafted leather scabbard. It is hand tooled and fitted with straps for the included sword-belt. The red-hued leather is gorgeous and is complemented by the decorative steel tip.
Don't be a dumb bastard. Be a noble one. Buy the Kriegschwart Bastard Sword and enjoy the one of the finer things in life.