This is one of the cooler vests you'll find on the
market. What do we mean by cool, you may ask? Well, we
mean that its surface is actually a few degrees colder
than most fabrics because of a revolutionary new
refrigerant technology that we use. I'm joking of
course. We mean it kicks ass, man!
I mean, look at it. Slightly flared shoulders and a
tapered waist make the wearer look HUGE! That guy in
the 1st product photo? He's actually 5' tall, weighs
126 pounds and is constantly beat up by the girls in
the elementary school down the road. But when he puts
this vest on, suddenly he scares Vin Diesel and
magically develops mixed martial-arts fighting skills.
(Editor's note: None of that is true. It's a great
looking vest and does make your shoulders look
a little bigger and your waist smaller, but that's it.
You're on your own against Vin Diesel. Please don't
get into an Octagon and take on Frank Shamrock based
on our writer's words).
What a killjoy. (editor's note: You realize that I
will always get the last word, don't you?). On that note, let's talk about the vest's
material, shall we? This vest is made from
cotton-twill, a material that is both breathable and
durable. The bottom third of the vest laces up for a
secure fit. The laces slip through firmly stitched
metal grommets, which allows you to tighten the vest
as much as you want without it bunching badly. This
medieval vest also features a peplum, which is a sort
of antacid. Aha, a quick check in my dictionary
actually reveals that a peplum is a short piece of
fabric attached to the back of the garment that
accentuates the . ah . booty .area.
And speaking of booty, this is a fine vest is an
excellent choice for pirate outfits. But the amazing
versatility of this vest allows it to be worn with
noble costumes, swordsmen, merchants and thugs. It's
the perfect accessory for any outfit. And, it secretes
phermones that actually attract women! (editor's note:
no it doesn't.).